It's been a while since I've blogged.
Honestly I've been struggling, struggling with busyness, struggling with
perfection and struggling with another particular sin too! Yes a sin, I'm a
sinner saved by grace! I love that saying about 'yes I'm a Christian and no I
don't have it all together'. Amazing grace that saved a wretch like me!
I've been chasing after God which can be good
thing but all the while I've had God right next to me, running right next to
me, lying next to me in the bed, jumping with me on the trampoline, watching
movies and eating dinner with me! But I didn't see it many times because I was too
busy being a Martha (See Luke 10:38-42).
As I've been attempting to plan my daughters
5th birthday party these past few weeks, I kept getting stuck. She wanted
Sherriff Callie theme, she wanted princess theme, she wanted a jumper.
"But Sarah, you had a western theme two years ago, you had a frozen
princess theme last year". "Terri let it go, it's her birthday,
let her decide!" The stores didn't have Sherriff Callie invitations and I
wasn't at peace spending money on preprinted perfect pretty invitations that
would be thrown in the garbage. And my talented cousin couldn't do invitations
because she was busy having a baby. And the party maybe wouldn't be a
success if the invitations didn't match the theme. Heaven forbid. The Lord has been reminding me of how years
in the past I've ‘over done’ it with parties, and with a lot of other things as
well! And still didn't and never do and probably never will measure up to
“pinterest perfection”! Even when He told me to keep it simple, I failed to
obey! Thank you Lord for His mercies which are new every day! Thank you
Lord for your patience with me! May I do a little better this year!
I've gone up and down on what to do, how
much to spend, asking The Lord, my earthly husband and finally 'what would Dave
Ramsey say?'! Now the question is 'will I obey?'! After thinking and thinking and thinking and
going back and forth, I asked myself, or The Lord asked me ... what did I
remember from my childhood parties? Or anything in my childhood for that matter
because I really don't remember any birthday parties under the age of five.
What little I do remember is only because of the few pictures I've looked
at over and over, over the years! As far as a few good precious, very
precious childhood memories, I remember my mom making Christmas ornaments with
our brownie troop at a community center. I remember her being the home
room mom and making our Christmas treats when we lived in Missouri. I
remember her sewing our Christmas stockings. I remember her surprising me in
the third or fourth grade with a new bike and a cake and some friends and when
I walked in I was so surprised by them all being there that I walked around the
new bike to hug her and didn't even notice the new bike! Wow, it was the
surprise of the people and the party and the love! What I remember most is The
TIME she has spent with me all those years! These are all precious times
together with the people God put in my life to love me and for me to love.
Christmas is coming up and one of our favorite
songs is "Mary Did You Know?"
Part of the lyrics: "When you kiss your little Baby you
kissed the face of God?"
After Christmas last year and into this year
Sarah kept on singing this song and when she would kiss me God would quickly
remind me that when that precious four year would hug me tight and kiss me that
I too was kissing the face of God. When I hug my husband, I'm hugging
God. When I hug a stranger I'm hugging God. When I hug on the
hurting I'm hugging God. God's Word says we are made in the image of God
and we are His seed! We are co heirs
with Christ! Each one of us created are His children, we are from Him and part
of Him! The people in our lives are part of Him and are in our lives to be
loved, nourished and cherished! Wow how I've been loved and nourished and
cherished. Yes I've been hurt too but oh how I've been loved!
Who has God put in your path to love? To hug? To
help? To nourish? To cherish?
I say
all of that to say and remind me that Sarah will probably not remember what her
cake looks like, nor the gifts she receives, nor the party theme, (And I will
never make the time nor am creative enough to scrapbook the lovely expensive
event) what she will probably will remember is the time we spent together! The
leftover cake we snuck in the living room at 10:30 pm last Saturday night at her
mamaw's house and had another few bites. (Sorry mom, we cleaned up the mess;))
And when my older 22 year old daughter said mom 'I love this and that's what I
remember and love about my childhood is when you did spontaneous fun things
together with us!' Wow God, wow it made my heart explode! I have done some
things right. I’ve had a lot of
perfection Martha moments, fretting and fussing; however I’ve made some Mary
moments as well! Our kids are not going to remember a clean house, or
what brand clothes they wore, or how much we spent on their party or gift; they
will remember the 'Mary moments' when we sit at their feet, and play with them,
and run with them, and jump with them, and have tea parties with them, and
break the rules and eat cake in the living room with them!
I love you Mom and thank you for the childhood
memories! Thank you that you still love me even when I've disobeyed and broke
the rules! Thank you that you still love me no matter what!
Thank you Lord for all my Mary and Martha
moment memories! I'm sorry Lord for being pulled away by all "I had to
do" and for fussing and for getting all worked up over nothing! Thank you
that you still love me no matter what!
So I pray that this Saturday that I'm not a
Martha worrying about a clean house and a "perfect party"! If you
come to the party, hopefully you will find me riding the horse with Sarah,
playing her favorite group game duck duck goose, finding stuff on the scavenger
hunt list with her, jumping with her, and loving on Sarah and whoever else is
at this party!
Lord help me to keep my eyes on you and may
this party be whatever you want it to be! Whoever you want to be there
will be there and it will be all that you want it to be! May it be laughter and
good times and good memory “mary moments” with you Lord! Thank you Lord! Amen!
