Martha and Mary Moments - Making memories

It's been a while since I've blogged.  Honestly I've been struggling, struggling with busyness, struggling with perfection and struggling with another particular sin too! Yes a sin, I'm a sinner saved by grace! I love that saying about 'yes I'm a Christian and no I don't have it all together'.  Amazing grace that saved a wretch like me!

I've been chasing after God which can be good thing but all the while I've had God right next to me, running right next to me, lying next to me in the bed, jumping with me on the trampoline, watching movies and eating dinner with me! But I didn't see it many times because I was too busy being a Martha (See Luke 10:38-42).

As I've been attempting to plan my daughters 5th birthday party these past few weeks, I kept getting stuck.  She wanted Sherriff Callie theme, she wanted princess theme, she wanted a jumper.  "But Sarah, you had a western theme two years ago, you had a frozen princess theme last year".  "Terri let it go, it's her birthday, let her decide!" The stores didn't have Sherriff Callie invitations and I wasn't at peace spending money on preprinted perfect pretty invitations that would be thrown in the garbage. And my talented cousin couldn't do invitations because she was busy having a baby.  And the party maybe wouldn't be a success if the invitations didn't match the theme.  Heaven forbid.  The Lord has been reminding me of how years in the past I've ‘over done’ it with parties, and with a lot of other things as well!  And still didn't and never do and probably never will measure up to “pinterest perfection”! Even when He told me to keep it simple, I failed to obey! Thank you Lord for His mercies which are new every day!  Thank you Lord for your patience with me! May I do a little better this year! 

 I've gone up and down on what to do, how much to spend, asking The Lord, my earthly husband and finally 'what would Dave Ramsey say?'! Now the question is 'will I obey?'!  After thinking and thinking and thinking and going back and forth, I asked myself, or The Lord asked me ... what did I remember from my childhood parties? Or anything in my childhood for that matter because I really don't remember any birthday parties under the age of five.  What little I do remember is only because of the few pictures I've looked at over and over, over the years!  As far as a few good precious, very precious childhood memories, I remember my mom making Christmas ornaments with our brownie troop at a community center.  I remember her being the home room mom and making our Christmas treats when we lived in Missouri.  I remember her sewing our Christmas stockings. I remember her surprising me in the third or fourth grade with a new bike and a cake and some friends and when I walked in I was so surprised by them all being there that I walked around the new bike to hug her and didn't even notice the new bike! Wow, it was the surprise of the people and the party and the love! What I remember most is The TIME she has spent with me all those years! These are all precious times together with the people God put in my life to love me and for me to love. 

Christmas is coming up and one of our favorite songs is "Mary Did You Know?" 

Part of the lyrics:  "When you kiss your little Baby you kissed the face of God?"

After Christmas last year and into this year Sarah kept on singing this song and when she would kiss me God would quickly remind me that when that precious four year would hug me tight and kiss me that I too was kissing the face of God.  When I hug my husband, I'm hugging God.  When I hug a stranger I'm hugging God.  When I hug on the hurting I'm hugging God.  God's Word says we are made in the image of God and we are His seed!  We are co heirs with Christ! Each one of us created are His children, we are from Him and part of Him! The people in our lives are part of Him and are in our lives to be loved, nourished and cherished! Wow how I've been loved and nourished and cherished.  Yes I've been hurt too but oh how I've been loved!

Who has God put in your path to love? To hug? To help? To nourish? To cherish?

 I say all of that to say and remind me that Sarah will probably not remember what her cake looks like, nor the gifts she receives, nor the party theme, (And I will never make the time nor am creative enough to scrapbook the lovely expensive event) what she will probably will remember is the time we spent together! The leftover cake we snuck in the living room at 10:30 pm last Saturday night at her mamaw's house and had another few bites. (Sorry mom, we cleaned up the mess;)) And when my older 22 year old daughter said mom 'I love this and that's what I remember and love about my childhood is when you did spontaneous fun things together with us!' Wow God, wow it made my heart explode! I have done some things right.  I’ve had a lot of perfection Martha moments, fretting and fussing; however I’ve made some Mary moments as well!  Our kids are not going to remember a clean house, or what brand clothes they wore, or how much we spent on their party or gift; they will remember the 'Mary moments' when we sit at their feet, and play with them, and run with them, and jump with them, and have tea parties with them, and break the rules and eat cake in the living room with them! 

I love you Mom and thank you for the childhood memories! Thank you that you still love me even when I've disobeyed and broke the rules! Thank you that you still love me no matter what!  

Thank you Lord for all my Mary and Martha moment memories! I'm sorry Lord for being pulled away by all "I had to do" and for fussing and for getting all worked up over nothing! Thank you that you still love me no matter what! 

So I pray that this Saturday that I'm not a Martha worrying about a clean house and a "perfect party"! If you come to the party, hopefully you will find me riding the horse with Sarah, playing her favorite group game duck duck goose, finding stuff on the scavenger hunt list with her, jumping with her, and loving on Sarah and whoever else is at this party! 

Lord help me to keep my eyes on you and may this party be whatever you want it to be! Whoever you want to be there will be there and it will be all that you want it to be! May it be laughter and good times and good memory “mary moments” with you Lord! Thank you Lord! Amen!

The great I AM -

No matter where I AM ....

HE is the great I AM 

He is the great I am who saves us, He is the great I am who sanctifies us, He is the great I am who speaks to us, He is the great I am who sends us, He is the great I am who can use His willing servants for His glory! 

As I was preparing to leave my family and 4 year old Sarah Grace for seven days, I was casting my cares on Him and standing on God's promises and In my face book post I wrote "my family is in the palm of your hand no matter where I AM ...You are the great I AM! Sometimes I get too focused on where I am, or where I'm not, and lose sight that He is the great I AM! It was cool how I felt led to write this (full credit to the Holy Spirit!) and then my devotion the next morning was on how He is the great I AM ... Love how The Lord speaks to us and confirms and gives us peace! 

After a few days in Guatemala, I AM reminded I have been blessed ... with such a nice car which sadly has more amenities then many of these people here have at all.  I have the privilege of going to two dental cleanings per year.  I have a mansion of a home compared to these villages.  I have been blessed with an education.  I have so much "stuff" and food and electricity and the list goes on.  I AM so blessed.  I am reminded that God blesses us to be a blessing to others.

More importantly than the things of this world and the blessings He gives, I am in a relationship with Jesus Christ who has saved me, redeemed me, and restored me! He has given me a hope and a future!

It's sad because here lately I've been so consumed with where I AM ...  physically, emotionally, even spiritually.  These past few days, seeing all of these "least of these", mothers and children walking places because they have no vehicle; rotten teeth or no teeth; homes the size of my sunroom, villages with no electricity, there is no need to say any more.  I am blessed.  That is enough to take my focus OFF of where "I am" ...Who cares where I am... I know God cares where I am but He wants us to be with the great I am! With Him, with the least of these, loving on them, serving them, supporting them, helping build a preschool and school so that it can break the cycle of poverty, generational bondage.  More importantly prayers for them to come to know the great I am!

One person I would have loved to meet, a role model, Mother Teresa said:
"Sometimes I want to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice in the world when He could do something about it, but I’m afraid He might just ask me the same question."

Where am I?  What am I doing? What am I concerned about? What am I focused on?

I thought this was interesting from the I AM devotion that morning:

"Jesus is the I AM, the eternal all powerful LORD. Moses asked the Lord what was His name. The Lord answered, “I AM WHO I AM…Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, I AM has sent me to you” (Ex. 3:14, KJV).   The name LORD comes from the Hebrew verb “to be,” first person, repeated twice. When you say LORD, you are pronouncing twice, I AM I AM. God exists in Himself and by Himself.
Jesus used metaphors to tell people what He was like. Jesus said I am Bread…Light…Door…Good Shepherd…Resurrection…True Vine…etc. But Jesus was saying more than comparing Himself to bread that satisfied or a way to Heaven, etc.  Jesus was telling His listeners He was the LORD of the Old Testament. When the soldiers came to arrest Jesus, they asked, “Are you Jesus of Nazareth?” Jesus pulled aside His humanity and His glorious deity came bursting out. The soldiers fell backward to the ground in response. How will you respond to His awesome glory?"
(Prime Time with God devotions)

Lord - I AM I AM ....

He is the great I am who can save others through us, He is the great I am who can get these children in Guatemala sponsored through us, He is the great I am who can save their teeth through us giving! The great I am will use His servants, the ones who choose to serve Him and obey Him in the "no matter what" and as in Julie reminded us "anything Lord"! He is the great I am who will do His will with or without us, when we stand before Him I hope you and I will know, like really know, the great I am ! I hope the great I am will say "great job my faithful servant!"


How I am, where I am, who I am ... More importantly, how will I respond?
I am reminded
I am so blessed
I am focused on the wrong things
I am to GO wherever He sends me
I am to keep my eyes on the great I AM
I am to love the great I am by loving and serving others
I am reminded that He is in control
I am reminded that it's all for His glory!
More of the great I am and less of the I am !!!

Are you with the great I am? It doesn't matter where I am or where you are  ... as long as we are with the great I Am ... focused on the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings ... with the least of these, loving our neighbors, all of our neighbors, Christians, unbelievers, the gays, the ones in my home, the oppressed, my church family, our communities and all others to the ends of the earth.
May we all go ... go with Him, and make disciples!

And everyone who has left houses, brothers or sisters, father or mother, children, or fields because of My name will receive 100 times more and will inherit eternal life.

Matthew 19:29

this little girl didnt want her picture taken, but I wanted to remember her shoes ...please let me know if you are interested in sponsoring a child ...



I will never forget her teeth, although her smile is still contagious ... less of me and more of you Lord !











one of the villages we visited.





Sweet Allison ...

Rejoice

Rejoice ... Has been my word lately ...  And still "journey" too... Sarah keeps singing Journey off the map from VBS musical they sang at church last week ...

I went up for prayer this past Sunday after church and all the guest preacher ( who knew nothing about me) prayed was "Lord be with this woman on her journey and may she rejoice to you, amen".  I thought well that was short and sweet and straight from the Spirit of God Himself, thank you Lord!!!

Definition of Rejoice - to be full of joy!
v.verb
To feel joyful; be delighted.
To feel joyful about (something).

"Rejoice oh child of God" part of the lyrics to a recent new favorite song if mine by Lauren Daigle (Redeemed)

"He rejoices over us in singing" ...another scripture I've gotten several times over the past few weeks. (‭Zephaniah‬ ‭3‬:‭17‬ NLT).  
He rejoices over us so we should probably choose to rejoice back to Him!

"Rejoice in all circumstances, Pray continually and give thanks for this is God's will for your life" (1 Thes. 5:16-18) Got three times in one week! I hear you Lord, help me to rejoice!

"Rejoice oh favored one" ... (Luke 1:28-38) The first thing the angel said to Mary, when The Lord called her to be the mother of Jesus.

The ladies in our Sunday school class and I have been reading about the different women in the Bible and since it was the season of Easter we spent a few weeks on Mary, the mother of Jesus.

Wise women ...
Matthew 27 which is telling about the death of Jesus, verse 55 says "And many women who had come from Galilee with Jesus to care for Him were watching from a distance.  56 Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary (the mother of James and Joseph) and the mother of James and John, the sons of Zebedee."  Also, in John 19:25 it mentions "standing near the cross were Jesus' mother, and His mother's sister, Mary (the wife of Clopas) and Mary Magdalene.  I find that interesting, that the three women at the cross all had the name Mary.
One website mentioned the name Mary means "Wise One".  There were six Mary's in the Bible all of which I found to be pretty wise women as I read about each one of them.  Wise women, who also struggled with fear, doubt, and evil spirits just like we do today, yet they followed Jesus.  They sought after Him for healing.  They washed His feet, and anointed Him with oil.  The used their own resources to serve Him and His disciples.  Yes wise women follow Jesus, to the cross, to the cross everyday.  Best place for us to stay is at the cross, not just at Easter time but everyday.  What else do wise women know and do?

You are Called and chosen ...
Mary Magdalen was the first at the tomb early on Sunday morning (John 20:1), also the first to see Jesus after He had risen and the first to go run and tell the other disciples (Matthew 28:7).  Ladies, let this encourage you that God used women to carry out His purposes! And He still is using women to carry out His purposes! There is a plan and a purpose for your life (Jeremiah 29:11). As one of the many of my favorite preacher chicks, Lisa Bevere says, "you are an answer to a problem!"! You may be the special woman He has called and He has chosen specifically to love that husband of yours to The Lord, or a coworker or a lost child, a friend or neighbor! Just like Mary was  called and chosen to carry Jesus, we are called and chosen to carry something special, to give birth to something.  Yes you are called.  You are chosen.  (Deut. 7:6, 1 Peter 2:9, Mat. 22:14, Eph. 1:4-5, John 6:44, Romans 8:28-30, Eph. 1:11 are just a few scriptures on how we are called!)  Yes, He loves His women, He created you and me In His image, HE LOVES YOU.  He also wants to use you just like He used other women in the Bible.  Do you know what He is asking you to do? What He wants you to carry for Him for this season of your life? To give birth to?

You are Favored ...
"Rejoice, oh favored one", not only are we also called and chosen for something just like the women in the Bible, but we are favored too! One of my favorite scriptures when I first got into the Word of God and was thinking God was angry with me was "His anger last for a moment but His favor for a life time!" (Psalm 30:5) Read and mediate on this entire Psalm because it also says in verse 8 "I sought favor from my Lord".  It's all about singing, dancing, exalting The Lord, going to Him for help, weeping may spend the night but joy will come, praising Him forever, it's about rejoicing! Just search favor in His Word online and see what you get! I also want to challenge you to start asking God for His favor! It will bless you when He shows you His favor.  Pray for favor with God.  Pray for favor with man.  Pray for God to give your child favor with his teacher or his boss, or their students, pray for favor when you are trying to pay off debt but yet need to buy something and need to find it at a really good deal, pray for favor with that difficult person you are trying to love! God's Word mentions His
favor over and over! If you are His child then you are one of His favorites! Rejoice oh favored one, for you are favored ...

And of course there is Suffering ...
Just put yourself in Mary's shoes, engaged to be married.  Her plans were most probably, Get married, have babies, work the fields, be a mom and enjoy life.  But no, an angel appears and says you are going to be with child before you marry Joseph and by the way Joseph is going to fear too until I have a talk with him.  Fear of the unknown, And this child, the son of God who you are going to have to run from those trying to kill him as well as we know she had to watch him suffer and die on a cross. If it were me, part of me would be stressing out because MY PLAN is no longer an option.  Another part of me would be excited and honored that God would ask me to carry and give birth to such a priceless gift.  Another part of me would be worried about what others were thinking. Kind of sounds familiar when God has asked me to do things here lately that didn't go along with my plans.  No, Mary's life didn't go according to her plans.  How many of your lives have gone according to your plans? I would bet anyone who is reading this, your life didn't end up as you had planned.  Mine didn't, I've been such a mess, sad to say for a long time I didn't even have a plan.  And what little plan I do remember just thinking about and never putting into action, never happened needless to say! We can make our plans but God's purposes will prevail (Proverbs 19:21)!

And when the angel told Mary what God's plans were for her life, she asked "How?"; she obviously feared, she doubted, she obviously worried just like we all do! Just like we do too,  We fear, we doubt, we worry, we ask God how.   How God? are you going to work this situation out for good? How God are you going to heal me and or this person? How God are you going to help me pay off this debt when you are calling me to stay home? How God are you going to restore this marriage? How are you going to change this husband or wife or child? How and when God are you going to deliver me or this person from this situation, or depression, or laziness, or drugs, or alcohol and or a negative spirit? Are you going to do it on earth or in heaven? How God how? Why God why? When God when?! We fear, we ask how, we ask why, we worry, we think about it, and we think about it and we think about it! We focus on the "suffering", well I do. I know I sometimes think way too much.  We think too much, when the angel and His Word says to simply "rejoice" and His Word says to "rejoice in all circumstances"! Sometimes we are waiting on God when He is waiting on us! His Word also says "Pray continually and give thanks" (1 Thes. 5:16-18)! This is God's will for our lives. In all circumstances, in the suffering of Good Friday, in the silence of Saturday and in the resurrection Sundays! Thank you for one of my sweet accountability partners in our small group that gave me this scripture at just the right timing, when I was praying about what to share about Mary with the ladies and was stuck on the first comment of the angel telling her to rejoice.  Too at the perfect timing, God's perfect timing, when I was just thinking too much! Thank you dear Melanie and Jean!

Choose to Rejoice ...
Yes, life is going to include some suffering, for each and everyone of us, but it's also going to bring some life and resurrection too!  We've got two choices we can choose to rejoice or we can choose not to rejoice! Rejoice in the birth, in the growth, in the pain, in the suffering, in the silence, in the delivery, in the resurrection, and in the life that He gave, because all things work together for good, all things ...for those who love God and are called according to His purpose!!! (Romans 8:28)

I pray that you choose to rejoice today no matter what season, whether you are in a storm, coming out of a storm or headed for a storm, may we rejoice! And please pray for me to do the same!!!

Thank you Lord for this season of Easter, the reminder, but may we go to the cross everyday! May we know your love so deep, so wide, that the deep things in you call out to the deep things in us! May we seek your favor for our lives as we seek to do your will because it's only by your favor, mercy and grace that we live and breath! Thank you Lord that you rejoice over us in singing!  Lord help us to rejoice! May we sing praises and rejoice to You through all the seasons of Our lives, Seasons of suffering, seasons of silence, seasons of satisfaction, and seasons of resurrection! May we pray continually, giving thanks to you in all circumstances for this is your will! May we have an attitude of gratitude! Thank you God that you work all things together for good! Thank you Lord for revealing and healing roots in me! You are truly our healer, our father, our creator and maker, our counselor, our provider, our everything! Thank you Lord that you speak to us and you confirm things! Thank you for your peace, the peace that surpasses all understanding! Thank you Lord for all that you are and all you have done for us! Thank you for choosing us and calling us and I pray that we would respond in obedience to whatever you asks us to do! Like Mary, may we choose to be your slave and trust and obey! Nothing is impossible with you God! We give you all the honor glory and praise because it's all because of you and all for you! Worthy is the lamb!!! Amen amen and amen!!!

May we Rejoice on the journey,
Love Terri


And the angel came to her and said, “Rejoice, favored woman! The Lord is with you.” But she was deeply troubled by this statement, wondering what kind of greeting this could be. Then the angel told her: Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Now listen: You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will call His name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and His kingdom will have no end. Mary asked the angel, “How can this be, since I have not been intimate with a man? ” The angel replied to her: “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the holy One to be born will be called the Son of God. And consider your relative Elizabeth — even she has conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called childless. For nothing will be impossible with God.” “I am the Lord’s slave,” said Mary. “May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel left her. (‭Luke‬ ‭1‬:‭28-38‬ HCSB)

For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” (‭Zephaniah‬ ‭3‬:‭17‬ NLT)

The Lord Speaks ...

For God speaks time and again, but a person may not notice it.   Job 33:14 (HCSB)

How many times has The Lord spoken to me and I did not notice it.

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
― C.S. Lewis

I grew up believing in God and having faith in Him yet I didn't have a personal relationship with him until I was in my thirties.  Through seeking Him, I've come to learn so much in the past nine, almost ten years.  That He speaks, He comforts, He leads us and guides us, He feeds us our daily bread, He whispers in our ears.  He speaks to us through others, through His Word, through books, through the tugging of our heart, through our preachers preaching, through a stranger in the grocery store, through nature, through our neighbor's goats, through a blog or two, through an email asking for wisdom, through our little girls and our circumstances, through our pains, through our fears, and through our tears.  Like C.S. Lewis states, sometimes it's a whisper, other times it's a shout, at times unfortunately it is in our pain.  So is God currently whispering, speaking or shouting to you? Unfortunately it's ALL things, the good, the bad and the ugly, the whispering, the speaking, the shouting, that all work together for good, for those who love The Lord! (Romans 8:28) But praise God its for good! It's all for good when it's all for God!

Last week, I said I would be sharing about my journey.  Our preacher mentioned "our journey" in his prayer this past Sunday and that one word echoed in my ears and I thought about the blog I felt led to title "The Journey".  One of my devotionals yesterday mentioned our "journey" twice and the word popped off the page, especially the second time.  I'm reading the Bible in a year and the reading in the Old Testament in Deuteronomy yesterday was the below three in a row headings:
JOURNEY past Seir
JOURNEY past Moab
JOURNEY past Ammon
Then again today in another devotion, "in our journey".  The Lord always confirms things to me in threes.  I don't know if that's because I'm always asking Him for confirmation or if it's because I'm slow at getting it, slow at listening, slow at recognizing it's Him, and or slow too at obeying.   Thank you Lord, you knew me before your formed me.  Thank you Lord for your patience with me.  When I hear or read or get a word or passage over and over, I know The Lord is obviously speaking to me.  I've tried to get in the habit of asking Him to confirm what I think He is telling me with scripture and usually, when it's Him, He always does.  I've had it happen so many times, and in such sweet special ways, no one could convince me that it's "coincidence".  So He is obviously speaking to me about my journey.  And or He is reminding me to write about what I had said I would write about, my journey, this blog. Is He softly reminding me to do what I said I would do, reminding me to be obedient, to live up to my word, to persevere, even though I'm tired or would much rather read a book in my free time.  Yes, maybe more confirmation.  Am I hearing? am I following? Am I following everything He is telling me to do or think that He is telling me to do? Are you hearing? Are you following?

I've always loved the sheep analogy in the Bible, He is our shepherd and we are His sheep!
  "My sheep hear My voice, I know them, and they follow me" John 10:27
(HCSB)

That one scripture gives us an opportunity for three (really four, but we're going to focus on these three) important questions to reflect upon:

1. (My sheep)
Are you His sheep? Are you saved? Are you staying in your flock, and more importantly near the shepherd? Where would you go if you died today?

2. (They hear my voice)
Are you hearing from Him? Are you listening? Are you expecting the God of the universe to speak to you, His precious sheep?

3. (They follow me)
Are you following Him?

My sheep ... If you are unsure about the first question, please contact me, a pastor or a Christian you look up to and can trust, so that we can pray with you, maybe talk through with you.  If you doubt your salvation, pray, seek, draw near to Him! (Yes hell is real and the devil is real.  We could very easily tell people who say they don't believe in God, start seeking Him and see if the powers of hell don't come after you.  That's proof in itself there is a God and a war going on for our very souls!) The devil had me doubt my salvation for too many years! Praise God, No more doubting.  It's final.  It is done. It is finished! Let this season of Easter and the cross remind you that it is finished, no more doubting! It's time for resurrection, the dead thoughts to come to life, and life in that area of bondage! Victory that Jesus died to give! May we come to the cross everyday not just during Easter!

They hear from me ... Are you hearing from God? How and how often? If you want to hear from Him more, my best advice, is to get up a few minutes early in the morning, with your Bible, a pen and paper.  Sit and be still.  Just call out to Him! Those who seek me early will find me!  It's a promise! I promise you will find Him! I have found Him and there is no sweeter name then the name of Jesus! Start talking to Him during and throughout the day, about anything and everything! Walk and talk with Him through out the day! A relationship is a two way street, He wants you to hear from Him and He wants you to communicate back and forth with Him! Thank Him for your food, for all that you have, ask for His help when you are discouraged, when you are tired, when that person at your office is driving you crazy, when nothing in you not even a hair on your head wants to forgive that person, when your strong willed four year old is pitching a fit and will not listen to you, when you are constipated or have a headache! He is our all In all, Yes He knows when we are backed up with bitterness or with you know what! He is our everything and He wants us to turn to Him in all things! When that pain is shouting at you, ask what is He trying to tell you? Ask Him! Ask Him to help you better hear from Him! Just say, 'Speak Lord for your servant is listening!'

And lastly, Are you following Him?  This is a tough one.  Some areas harder than others. The first one to become His sheep by Believing and you shall be saved.   After we are saved, His sheep come to know Him, and we hear His voice! We all love benefits of being a sheep, the peace, the love, the joy, the favor of The Lord! His Holy Spirit in us, the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is in us! Oh the Spirit of The Lord is amazing! I'm ashamed to say, I've been drunk and high on some illegal drugs before, but I can also say that there is no high like the God Most High! But the hard part is when He asks us to do something we don't want to do.  To follow him, to love someone we don't want to love, to forgive someone we don't want to forgive, to eat something we don't want to eat, or not eat something we want to eat, to say things we don't want to say, or not say things we want to say, to take care of our bodies with a good diet and exercise, to do things we don't want to do and not do what we want to do, the list goes on.  I don't know what The Lord is asking you to do, but think about it, how long has He been asking? I've been struggling for a while with something He has been telling me not to do.  And writing this this today is more convicting for me, because I believe and I'm a sheep, and oh how He has been speaking to me in all the different ways that He speaks, but I have failed at following In this area of my life.  Some days are better than others.  It's three steps forward and two steps backward.  Which praise God I'm still moving forward.  One step at a time, one day at a time, sweet Jesus! Slowly but surely.  Lord, thank you for mercies are new everyday and thank you for your grace that Jesus died to give. Thank you for sanctification! Thank you for your patience! Lord give us Scriptures to renew our minds to obey in whatever areas you are calling us to obey! To walk in freedom in those areas of bondage.

The original conviction, Last week I emailed my pastor for some wisdom, because I was struggling with a decision in some areas of hearing from God on serving in church.
When He replied back he said...

"Far too often, most of us have problems DOING God’s will that we already know. Trying to discern God’s will and KNOW His will is a challenge which calls for prayer and “renewing your mind” to prove that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. I wish I could have a spiritual GPS that means “God Point to Something” and I could see a big glowing finger pointing out what, when, where and how. But He works through our faith, obedience, perseverance, patience because He wants to change us as much as use us."  Pastor Dale Funderburg, FBCWP

Ouch ... I'm fretting over hearing from God on where to serve, what to do, what not to do, or keep doing for Him in the local church, whether to write this blog in my free time or not, meanwhile I'm failing miserably doing what I KNOW HE wants me to do! To love, to forgive, to do those random acts of kindness for others that are hurting, to pray for others, to reach out to the poor the lost and the needy on a more regular basis, to sell most of my stuff and give to the poor, to eat better, to eat more, to exercise.  Another OUCH... I've been more concerned about God using me instead of God changing me.  I could elaborate here too, my pride, but that would be another blog post or two or three. OUCH.

Priscilla Shirer in her Discerning the Voice of God study, mentions that most don't know that it was God actually speaking to them until after the fact.  But the more, I've come to know Him and His voice and the way He speaks to me, the more I fall in love with Jesus.  I know He has convicted me, He has tugged at my heart again through the words of my brother.  I also know I don't always get it right, and I don't know If the "Journey" word is a reminder to write or not, but I do know that He will be with me on the journey, loving me along the way! Praise Jesus!  And the more He whispers, speaks and shouts the more I want to know Him, His Word, the more I want to seek Him, hear from Him, serve Him, and follow Him.  More so in the pleasures, but even in the convictions and the pain! I have failed at all of the above, in more ways than I want to admit! But that's part of the journey!

Lord, I thank you for this day!  Thank you for the cross so that we could have a personal relationship with you! Thank you for your love! For this season of the reminder of the cross, yet may we go to the cross every day of the year.  Thank you for speaking to us Lord, thank you that we are your sheep.  Thank you for conviction Lord to do what you want us to do! I pray for each person reading this, that they believe or will believe in you, that they know you, that we would all seek you with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength all of our days! That we would long to hear from you, that we would notice when you speak to us! That we would hear from you and that we all would follow! Speak Lord for your servants are listening! That we would want to be changed by you Lord! Change us oh Lord, create in us a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit within us Oh Lord! Help us to obey you! Give us the grace to walk through the shouting pain in our lives! Heal our hearts Lord! Reveal and heal deep hurts in us oh Lord! Help us to carry our cross whatever that may be! Thank you Lord for life! May we all live our lives for you, to do your will and hear 'well done, my faithful servant' instead of 'Back away from me, for I didn't know you'! May we walk and talk with you! We pray all of this in the mighty precious name of Jesus! Amen and amen and amen!!!

Until next time ...
Be still and hear Him today,
Terri

Additional scriptures:

I assure you: Anyone who hears My word and believes Him who sent me has eternal life and will not come under judgement but has passed from death to life. I assure you: An hour is coming, and is now here, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who hear will live.  John 5:24-25 (HCSB)

When you are in tribulation and all these things come upon you, in the latter days you will turn to the Lord your God and be obedient to His voice. Deuteronomy 4: 30

If only you carefully listen to the voice of the Lord your God, to do watchfully all these commandments which I command you this day. Deuteronomy 15: 5

The mighty One, God, the Lord, speaks and calls the earth from the rising of the sun to its setting. Psalm 50: 1

But this thing I did command them: Listen to and obey My voice, and I will be your God and you will be My people; and walk in the whole way that I command you, that it may be well with you. Jeremiah 7: 23

“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord!’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of My Father in heaven. On that day many will say to Me, ‘Lord, Lord, didn’t we prophesy in Your name, drive out demons in Your name, and do many miracles in Your name?’ Then I will announce to them, ‘I never knew you! Depart from Me, you lawbreakers!’    Matthew 7:21-22 (HCSB)

Our journey

He sent His word and healed them; He rescued them from the Pit.  (Psalm 107:20) HCSB

I've been feeling led to start a blog, as well as writing a book, which is crazy because I don't feel like I'm a writer! I'm a talker! I always struggled with reading and writing in school.  My mother had to get me a tutor in the first grade.  I have always felt inadequate in reading and comprehending, as well as writing, grammar, & spelling.  There are fears, the 'what if's and the 'what nots', which I will not bore you with.  I'm sure you have the same fears.  I would much rather call you or email you, you being who or whom I'm close with, over the phone and share what I've learned from The Lord, what I am learning and what I want to know more about, my fears, my failures, my accomplishments, my journey  ...
But I'm going to be obedient to what my heart is saying even though my head isn't feeling it, because we can't live by our feelings or our fears! I've done that for way too long.  When I have lived according to my feelings I'm been a train wreck at times!  When I've lived by fears I've gone to a pit.  The alternative, we have to live by faith, putting our toes in the water and doing whatever God is asking us to do.  To just do it! To do what's in our heart, even when our head doesn't understand it or feel like it or is fearing the call.  As some of my favorite preacher chicks say "when we face our fears we become fearless"! We are either living by fear or living by faith!  May we live by faith and trust and obey! Help us Lord!

For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment.   (2 Timothy 1:7) HCSB

Do any of you have a mess right now? An emotional mess, a physical mess? I've had all of the above.  They say our mess becomes our message, our test becomes our testimony! So, in future posts, I'm going to write and share some of my journals about my mess, my tests, my journey ... With Jesus, as well as without Him, me seeking Him, not seeking Him, life lessons with my husband, with my older kids, with my late in life strong willed 4 year old princess, with my family, with my chicks,, with my friends, with the chicken poop on the carport and the dirty dishes in the sink, with life in general ... all of it's joys, demands, disappointments, good choices, bad choices, seasons of disobedience, highs, lows and whatever He is calling me to at this moment, for this season of my life! My life before Christ and my life after He saved a wretch like me! Oh, Amazing Grace!

If my former mess and message gives hope to just one person, it will all be worth the struggle, the time, the fight, the facing the fear! Lord, may I keep my eyes on you Lord, not on others, not on my circumstances, not on my fears, not on my self, but on you Lord! Amen!

So if you feel led to read about my journey, this so called "blog", I hope you will grab your Bible, a pen and a notebook journal for the reflection questions.  I pray that His Holy Spirit would speak to you, encourage you, comfort you, and that you would be still, and that you too will write about your journey, your beautiful story!  If we allow Him, He makes all things beautiful in its time! More importantly, I hope you will draw near to the one who made it possible for you to have a story.  The one who gives you breath! His Word says when we draw near to Him, He promises to draw near to us!

So for this first blog post I want you to think about where you are on your journey? I recently went to a marriage conference where Dale and Jena Forehand mentioned the quote "an unexamined life is a wasted life!"! Life is short, let's not waste what He died to give us!

Have you examined your life lately?
WHERE ARE YOU at on your journey?
Where are you at on your journey of life spiritually, emotionally and physically?
Need improvement in one or all of those areas? (Pray and meditate on 1 Thess. 5:23)
Where else do you want to go and what else do you want to do?
What do you want your obituary to say?
What do you think The Lord is calling you to do for this season of your life? To trust ...to obey ... To read His Word... To write ... To share ... To love someone ... To forgive ...  To fast ... To pray ... To work for Him... To serve Him in His church... To go to church ... To be planted in His local church... To trust Him financially ... To Tithe your 10% ... To trust your kids with Him ... To submit to Him ... To submit to your earthy husband ... To trust Him with your health and sickness  ... To eat better ... To exercise ... To take care of your body ... To accept Him as your personal savior? .... To ...(...fill in the blank )  praise God He is patient with us!

Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely. And may your spirit, soul, and body be kept sound and blameless for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. (1 Thess. 5:23) HCSB

Dear Lord, 
I thank you for the opportunity to serve you and to do whatever you ask us to do! I thank you for the grace you give us to do the things we can't do on our own.  I thank you that you speak to us, your sheep, and that you are our shepherd and you lead us and guide us through the journey of life!  I thank you that you help us to face our fears, and you give us the gift of faith to believe In you, to seek you, to come to know you In a deeper intimate relationship with you! Thank you for taking me deeper.  Thank you for healing my soul.  I pray for each person that reads this.  I pray that you would bless them Lord in a special way, that they would go deeper with you Lord! I pray that this blog be whatever you want it to be, nothing more, and nothing less, not what I want Lord but only what you want!  I thank you for you always being there to comfort me through my mess, as I share my mess and your message of hope to others, I pray, if it's your will, that it would comfort others as your Word says in 2 Corinthians 1:4 I pray that each person reading this would be comforted by you Lord, they would experience your peace and your love! Thank you Lord for life, for dying on the cross for me and for all others.  Help us to examine each area of our lives Lord! Search our hearts Lord! Continue to burden our hearts for what hurts yours Lord! And as we journey together with you Lord and with one another, we will give you all the honor, all the glory and all the praise to you! Because it's all because of you JESUS! All because of you JESUS! 

He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:4) HCSB

Jacob's well was there, and Jesus, worn out from His journey, sat down at the well. John 4:6 HCSB

Sit down at the well today and be still... Let Him give you living water today and everyday of your journey! He promises you will never be thirsty again!

Until next time...
His Grace and peace to you,
Terri